PECCAVI
2022
70in x 35.5 in
Oil on Linen
“Peccavi” reflects my irresponsible past when I turned my face away while my mother was suffering from depression. I wanted to explore my own emotions such as regret, shame, and the desire to conceal aspects of the neglect toward my mother. The central figure in the work represents my own introspection, while a symbol of my mother lying on the floor reflects the impact of my actions on her. By depicting only the legs, the recipient of my confessions remains mostly hidden, allowing universal connections to the conveyed emotions. The accompanying letter, nameless, enhances such privacy and encourages personal connections and emotional responses from viewers. Positioned on the right side, the figure's downward gaze embodies the complexity of my emotions. It is a blend of profound regret and a conflicted avoidance of facing them.
(translation of the letter)
Dear. Beloved You
I hope you do not read this letter for your entire life. Nevertheless, I am writing this letter because of my selfishness to make myself at ease.I appreciate you for teaching me about life, loving me, taking care of me, and especially for being by my side no matter what happens. You are the one who taught me a true definition of ‘emotions’ and how to treat them. You are the one who always offered me your hand first but I didn’t when you were having a hard time. I even ignored you. I treated your worries as trivial ones and did not take them seriously. I only cared about my feelings first. I have been self-justified by telling myself that there is nothing I can do anymore. I kept my eyes closed in front of you even when you were crying, screaming, knocking on the door, and even when you were gone outside. Honestly, I knew it. I knew you were crying and screaming outside of my room but I tried to ignore it and to be ignorant as if I did not notice anything. I kept my ears closed and pretended I didn't hear anything. I am really sorry. And last but not least, I know it is already too late to apologize, but I’m so sorry that I couldn't be at your side. I should always be by your side whenever what happens as you were and are always by my side.
Yours sincerely,
Jiho Kim
Process-
